Jackie Burrell, Writer

I’ve been spelunking a lot of late. Goodness no, not in caverns. I’m strictly a rabbit hole spelunker. I take the teeniest peek and then whoosh, there goes the afternoon. If there’s ever a 19th century pub trivia night, let me know. Or an “1849 slang of the American West” Jeopardy category. I’ll go see that elephant. I’ll wake snakes! It’ll be some pumpkins!

Uh oh, have I gone all toplofty on you? Thought myself a huckleberry above a persimmon?

I hate books that drizzle arcane turns of phrase to convey old timey flavor, then don’t tell me what they mean (like I, ahem, just did) or tell me in condescending parentheticals. Like, I went to see the elephant (experience something exotic and possibly perilous). It feels like those parentheses are clearing their throat and adjusting their pince-nez (late 19th-century eyeglasses that pinch the bridge of your nose to stay in place, because they lack temples (the arms that fit over your ears (you know what ears are))). I’ve been struggling a bit with that in my writing, and finally reckoned I’d tisket-and-a-tasket in the slang we all still know. And I gave the more colorful stuff to a 25-year-old character, Caleb, who provides comic relief and a good deal of heart. (There’s no Gen Z slang in his depiction, of course, but may I just say, he’s in his Wild West era, and thinks our main characters are giving school marm energy.)

Does it work? You’ll have to let me know. I’m about to enter the querying trenches. Doubtless, I’ll get catawamptiously chewed up.

Meanwhile, here’s a little translation of the words and phrases used here. No pince-nez necessary.

Wake snakes: Cause a commotion or kick up a ruckus

Some pumpkins: Something impressive. It’s the opposite of small potatoes. 😊

Toplofty: High and mighty

A huckleberry above a persimmon: Something or someone who’s a cut above

Catawamptiously chewed up: Utterly destroyed

See the elephant: Experience something new, exotic and possibly perilous. The phrase dates back to the 19th century, when a traveling circus typically arrived in town with a splashy parade led by its most sensational attraction, an elephant. According to folklore, a farmer was on his way to market, his wagon loaded with harvest goods, when he detoured to see the parade. His horses took one look at the elephant and freaked out, overturning the wagon in the process. You’d have thought the farmer’s loss — horses, wagon and produce — would be devastating, but he said, “I don’t give a hang … for I have seen the elephant.”

More: Absquatulate, acknowledge the corn and more Gold Rush-era slang